Blinded
Cover Art by Devin Thompson
“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or heard, but must be felt with the heart.”
~ Helen Keller
With working eyes, you can still be blind. Strong emotions leave you in a trance-like state, where the world around you blurs. Or something has been kept from you, leaving you blind to the fact. Can you see what’s in front of you, figuratively? Have you been tricked? Maybe even willingly blind (ignorance is bliss, after all.) Without sight, the world around you must be understood in other ways. Let your heart lead with this writing; what can you come up with when left blinded?
~ Helen Keller
With working eyes, you can still be blind. Strong emotions leave you in a trance-like state, where the world around you blurs. Or something has been kept from you, leaving you blind to the fact. Can you see what’s in front of you, figuratively? Have you been tricked? Maybe even willingly blind (ignorance is bliss, after all.) Without sight, the world around you must be understood in other ways. Let your heart lead with this writing; what can you come up with when left blinded?
Phlebotomy, Take My Blood, by Alexander Lam-Gaudet (11)
The spraypaint lies thick on my skin, tallied from broken words and hurtful promises. I hate the way you spin me, but reluctant to relieve it. I itch
and itch
and itch
and itch.
Why can’t you get out?
I take myself for a fool, wasting a word for you. I bet you’re laughing. I bet you’re aching. Please let me love normally in my shallow body, your gracious being. Let me, quotefully. It’s sweet blood, dirty from you. The needle doesn’t feel good anymore, what if it was something poisonous? I can’t keep my muscles away.
Image by Alexander Lam-Gaudet
You’re raw. If I took a piece of you, would you fall apart? Guts, and love, and all. I look for you through the glass, eyes nervous, body aching.
and itch
and itch
and itch.
Why can’t you get out?
I take myself for a fool, wasting a word for you. I bet you’re laughing. I bet you’re aching. Please let me love normally in my shallow body, your gracious being. Let me, quotefully. It’s sweet blood, dirty from you. The needle doesn’t feel good anymore, what if it was something poisonous? I can’t keep my muscles away.
Image by Alexander Lam-Gaudet
You’re raw. If I took a piece of you, would you fall apart? Guts, and love, and all. I look for you through the glass, eyes nervous, body aching.
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What I am
Why I am Ribbon of deceit over our eyes, Living in ignorant bliss But this is not blissful We know the truth Stop telling us what is happening, Let us see what is happening You refuse to see it You don’t want us to see it But we know Keep telling us what you think we want to hear You’ll convince yourself, But you can’t convince us We want honesty We want accountability We want truth |
I'm not quite sure where to look
"Look at me when I'm talking to you" You say "Don't give me that look" You say And so I close my evil eyes I retreat I'm not quite sure where to look I'm on the bus People surround my seat Give them each a glance Maybe a smile Let them know That you are more than your evil eyes Let them know That you are kind |
Smokey Haze, by Theia Taylor (9)
At the end of sixth grade, I went to the eye doctor with my mum and my brother. When they put the plastic spoon over my left eye, I could see perfectly, maybe even better than perfectly— then they put it over my right eye, and the world turned into a smoky haze. I couldn’t even read the largest of the letters.
I didn’t buy glasses immediately; my right eye was doing so well I could make it through class, sports, and life in general. It was only when her edges started to fade, when I couldn’t tell if the upturn of her lips was sweet or malicious, that I decided I needed them.
I could make her out then— sitting in the corner of our math class, sharing a slushie on the curb, the way she smiled at those boys, the malicious twinkle in her dark eyes. She wasn’t soft edges, like my sight had betrayed. She was sharp, so much so that she could cut through a human heart. She had dried blood along the outline of her body, but in the smoky haze that I spent most of my time in, it blended in with her smooth skin and lacy tank tops.
I had my glasses on the day she screwed me over. I didn’t have my glasses on when I was sleeping in bed beside her, forgiving her. I had my glasses on when I stopped speaking to her.
Image By: Theia Taylor
I didn’t buy glasses immediately; my right eye was doing so well I could make it through class, sports, and life in general. It was only when her edges started to fade, when I couldn’t tell if the upturn of her lips was sweet or malicious, that I decided I needed them.
I could make her out then— sitting in the corner of our math class, sharing a slushie on the curb, the way she smiled at those boys, the malicious twinkle in her dark eyes. She wasn’t soft edges, like my sight had betrayed. She was sharp, so much so that she could cut through a human heart. She had dried blood along the outline of her body, but in the smoky haze that I spent most of my time in, it blended in with her smooth skin and lacy tank tops.
I had my glasses on the day she screwed me over. I didn’t have my glasses on when I was sleeping in bed beside her, forgiving her. I had my glasses on when I stopped speaking to her.
Image By: Theia Taylor
stitches sewn, by Maddy Byl (10)
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The string is ivory
Thin and soft between my fingers Rolled tightly And coiled up On the metal tray rests a thin sewing needle The coiled up string And a pair of cutting scissors Softly you take your hand and close my eye The room is warm Too warm I flinch back when I hear you picking up the tools off the tray I flinch away from you |
From the truth
The needle pierces my eyelids Sharp pain threading through my body You pull the string from the top to the bottom of my eyes Sewing them closed Diagonally piercing back and forth My first eye is sewn shut I can still see from the other one And so I can see the ivory string coloured red from my bleeding eyes I am becoming accustomed to the darkness You shut me out Sew my eyes closed |
blinded by your shine, by Anamika Dave (10)
missing you is what I will do
for the rest of my youth
blinded by your shine,
the act you put on for everyone
in every life l will forget what you did,
unknowingly & blissfully
slip back into your shine
to bask in the warmth.
you will be my sun for eternity,
and I will welcome the burns
I will forever stand too close
and observe too much
and be hurt by what I should’ve known not to do
I will turn a blind eye towards your faults
just to be able to linger in your ray of light for just a moment longer,
to catch your eye for a second more,
to have your attention,
Image By: Anamika Dave
for the rest of my youth
blinded by your shine,
the act you put on for everyone
in every life l will forget what you did,
unknowingly & blissfully
slip back into your shine
to bask in the warmth.
you will be my sun for eternity,
and I will welcome the burns
I will forever stand too close
and observe too much
and be hurt by what I should’ve known not to do
I will turn a blind eye towards your faults
just to be able to linger in your ray of light for just a moment longer,
to catch your eye for a second more,
to have your attention,
Image By: Anamika Dave
When I can’t see, by Ivy Janes (12)
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Never until I heard the orchestra
Did one flute’s whistling cry Sound so very lonely Never is the night so dark As when the final house on the street Flicks off their porch light |
I’d thought I’d known what it was before
To miss someone, but oh How you’ve proved me wrong Now on my own It’s unbearable, the emptiness that grows When you can’t pull me close When I can’t see your love before me |
Going Blind, by Lily Smith (9)
My fingers glide across his face, sculpting it into my memories before it fades to black like everything else will. Don't worry, he says. I'll describe the world's beauty for you, he says. But no words on earth could stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. There is so much of the world I want to see, and so little time to see it. Before long, the light will seep from my pupils and I will be left with nothing but the ever fading memories of my past existence. Then, I suppose I will have to rely on my other senses to experience all that I have not yet been able to. But you can't feel a sunset. You can't taste the grand canyon or smell the pyramids of Egypt. Your eyes give you the gift of experiencing the beauty around you, and I feel as though that gift is slipping through my fingers. Like a tide, it slowly recedes, unrelenting and unstoppable. My eyes have become desperate to view all that they can, before eventually, they throw me into a void of colour. A black hole to which there is no escape, just spinning, spinning, spinning in darkness for the rest of my colourless existence.
How to Turn a Blind Eye, by Ell Gurd (10)
Read over the letter you knew was mine
Sit in silence as the memories die
Shut your eyes tight just as our stars align
I write in salt as you turn a blind eye
Watch me with a gaze as full as the moon
Read me a poem as we trace the Before
Build you a mirror you break as I swoon
Forget there is nothing here anymore
Swim in your ocean until your waves break
Names in the air and lungs in the water
Turn as I drown but I’ll die for your sake
They’ll call it sadness but never slaughter
Side by side our headstones sit intertwined
But I’ll never forget your eye turned blind
Image By: Ell Gurd
Sit in silence as the memories die
Shut your eyes tight just as our stars align
I write in salt as you turn a blind eye
Watch me with a gaze as full as the moon
Read me a poem as we trace the Before
Build you a mirror you break as I swoon
Forget there is nothing here anymore
Swim in your ocean until your waves break
Names in the air and lungs in the water
Turn as I drown but I’ll die for your sake
They’ll call it sadness but never slaughter
Side by side our headstones sit intertwined
But I’ll never forget your eye turned blind
Image By: Ell Gurd
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I should wear my glasses more
I don’t have perfect vision When it was you it was all blurs The glass was smeared and frames crooked I tried to figure you out Your labyrinth of thoughts Scattered and unheard Dancing around your mind You mirrored the past I couldn’t see through you A haze of lies Inessential, write what you thought was poetic The glass shattered Your untrue stories piled up You’ll act full of pride and honor While I’m left cleaning the glass turned sand |
Blindness is obedience
Obedience is submission Submission is purity Purity is salvation I do not question anything; Questioning is sinning I do not doubt anything; Being saved would merely be a distant concept Their chants echo through the chamber of my being They teach me right from wrong, And I follow their self-righteous guidance They say to repress any original impure thoughts, Even when it feels wrong to do so Their world is in black and white The splotches of grey that try to seep through are to be pushed away and erased And as human beings, We are expected to fulfill putting a lense over all that we could see for the sake of salvation To damage ourselves in order to be clean To love all but hurt some To view fellow human beings either as sinners or as prophets |
Haunted By You, by Suda Sivakumar (10)
You were never mine to hold, but I let myself believe you were
All the times I lay awake at night, I wondered if you ever cared
Now all I’m left with are the memories I can’t escape and all the echoes in my head
I could taste the bitterness in my mouth, I could feel the heaviness in my chest and the tears that sprung beneath my eye when I saw your face again
After All, I learned, you weren’t blind to how I made you feel, you chose to blind yourself, you chose not to understand me
You selfishly stole everything I had to give
You manipulated the love and effort I would’ve put into us without a thought
You starved me with the affection you gave and took away, making a river out of my eyes from the harshness of your words, and why did this upset me?
I set a standard to who I thought you were, my heart a reflection of everything you’ve ever told me
If you cared about me, really ever looked into my eyes a second longer you could see the world of indecision and you could see just how much you fractured my heart, just how much you pulled me along, tug on my heartstrings until they snapped in half
You waited until everything healed, my heart, my mind, my happiness and then you took the air clean out of my
lungs and kept it for yourself so you could breathe better at night
Image By: Suda Sivakumar
All the times I lay awake at night, I wondered if you ever cared
Now all I’m left with are the memories I can’t escape and all the echoes in my head
I could taste the bitterness in my mouth, I could feel the heaviness in my chest and the tears that sprung beneath my eye when I saw your face again
After All, I learned, you weren’t blind to how I made you feel, you chose to blind yourself, you chose not to understand me
You selfishly stole everything I had to give
You manipulated the love and effort I would’ve put into us without a thought
You starved me with the affection you gave and took away, making a river out of my eyes from the harshness of your words, and why did this upset me?
I set a standard to who I thought you were, my heart a reflection of everything you’ve ever told me
If you cared about me, really ever looked into my eyes a second longer you could see the world of indecision and you could see just how much you fractured my heart, just how much you pulled me along, tug on my heartstrings until they snapped in half
You waited until everything healed, my heart, my mind, my happiness and then you took the air clean out of my
lungs and kept it for yourself so you could breathe better at night
Image By: Suda Sivakumar
yesterday, I think, by Emma McAndrew (10)
i think it was a week ago, i was trying on my moms heels. comically big, i still tried to walk in them. i think it was 5 days ago, my older brother let me use my makeup kit on him. he left with ruby red lips and bright sky blue eyeshadow. i think it was 3 days ago, when my friends and i went out to the driveway. barefoot, we traced drawing onto the pavement in dollar store chalk. i think it was 1 day ago, my best friend and I played dress up and fought over who would get the ariel dress. she won.
i think tomorrow i turn 40.
yesterday is inches and miles and seconds and years away from today.
and i have a hard time telling this year from the last
since time
has always wedged itself right in my
blindspot.
Image By Emma McAndrew
i think tomorrow i turn 40.
yesterday is inches and miles and seconds and years away from today.
and i have a hard time telling this year from the last
since time
has always wedged itself right in my
blindspot.
Image By Emma McAndrew
Dear Evran, by Zachary Atchison (9)
Dear Evran,
I’ve given a lot of thought to what you asked me the night I left. And I’ve made up my mind, so here it is.
Do I think what we had was a game? I’m not sure. Believe me, I’ve spent hours pondering that last question of yours, trying to make some goddamn sense of it. A game; often competitive, always crafted to entertain. Was that what our relationship was? Was that what it was to you? You never tell me these things. You never did.
I broke up with you because you weren’t in love with me. Not really. I think you took my love and you ran with it, hoarding it within your heart to take the place of peace that was never there. You mistook your zeal for loyalty, and your lust for affection. In doing so, you made me believe that my loyalty and affection were returned. In believing so, I was an idiot, to say the absolute least. And I’m done being that idiot.
Image By: Zachary Atchison
I’ve given a lot of thought to what you asked me the night I left. And I’ve made up my mind, so here it is.
Do I think what we had was a game? I’m not sure. Believe me, I’ve spent hours pondering that last question of yours, trying to make some goddamn sense of it. A game; often competitive, always crafted to entertain. Was that what our relationship was? Was that what it was to you? You never tell me these things. You never did.
I broke up with you because you weren’t in love with me. Not really. I think you took my love and you ran with it, hoarding it within your heart to take the place of peace that was never there. You mistook your zeal for loyalty, and your lust for affection. In doing so, you made me believe that my loyalty and affection were returned. In believing so, I was an idiot, to say the absolute least. And I’m done being that idiot.
Image By: Zachary Atchison
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I follow him down the path, through the woods
The trees enclosing he ground beneath my feet The tunnel like lighting flooding my view, As the world around me diminished I turn my head focusing in on my feet One step, then the other Right foot, then left I look to the feet of the stranger in front of me Matching pace with his steps Trying to keep up He’d promised me it was the right way Told me to follow him And i trusted it Watched his feet fall and the world around me disappear
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There are sights to see, yet you remain blind
A willingness to ignore what could be I stand in front of you But something in you doesn’t see me for what i am Myself I am more than a muse, more than a reason More than the change in the seasons I exist without you, Without us I’ll linger in your eyesight Burnt on your retinas But you’ll wash your eyes out You’ll never really see |
I wake at the crack of dawn every morning, the obnoxious ring from my phone awakening my unconscious state. I reach for my phone that buzzed on my nightstand, not wanting to wake up just yet. Despite my yearning to laze in my fluff bed the whole day, I begrudgingly sat up. I look at myself in the mirror across me, the orange lights peeking through the window, brightening my blond locks with the faint warmth. I slowly swing my legs to the edge of my mattress, shuffling out of bed. My feet make contact with the chilly floor and I drag my feet across the wooden planks. In my half-asleep state, I manage to find the bathroom. My face was caked up with makeup I left on last night, only being able to make out the blur of a bold, red lipstick smear and the blinding, white highlight on the tip of my nose. I wash my face, rubbing off every molecule of makeup that could be easily removed with just a sprinkle of water. I then apply my makeup remover to a cotton pad and wipe the mascara from my lashes, the vivid violet that rested on my
eyelids, the smeared lipstick that nearly stained my mouth. I wasn’t proud of myself for it. I wanted that smooth porcelain skin that everyone else wore proudly on themselves. My face felt light after removing all the chemicals, knowing that I’d eventually have to put it on all over again before I go to school. I stare at myself in the mirror, ashamed of the person I’ve become before shutting the lights and exiting the bathroom, continuing with my linear routine for the day.
Image By: Devin Caguioa
eyelids, the smeared lipstick that nearly stained my mouth. I wasn’t proud of myself for it. I wanted that smooth porcelain skin that everyone else wore proudly on themselves. My face felt light after removing all the chemicals, knowing that I’d eventually have to put it on all over again before I go to school. I stare at myself in the mirror, ashamed of the person I’ve become before shutting the lights and exiting the bathroom, continuing with my linear routine for the day.
Image By: Devin Caguioa
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I look back on it now and I see
The way I inconvenienced myself for your validation When I was practically ripping myself apart Changing every detail that makes me unique Just so I could fit into a box that would fit perfectly in your arms I reminisce on the feeling I got from your praise The way my head spinned and heart fluttered But none of it was even genuine Because you weren’t complimenting me But rather a version I had designed of myself just to please you In the moment I thought it was fate Destiny, even But now I know that I hid the reality of it all from myself You don’t want me, and you never did You wanted an arm piece Someone who was fake That’s what I tried to be for you But I see it clear as day now With this newfound clarity, I know I shouldn't pretend for anyone I see it now I see me for who I am, and you for who you are I’m not hiding behind lies and deception I see it all |
I know it's going to happen,
There's nothing I can do, There's no way to stop it, I'll stay blissfully unaware, Pretend that I don't know, That its coming to a close, I'll just look away, Towards the brighter days ahead, Pretend that I can still see you again, I've felt it for a while, Knowing something was off, You started acting strange, Confirming my thoughts, Why can't we be forever? Maybe we could be, At least in my mind, I'll keep playing along, Acting like I don't see anything, Nothing strange, Nothing new, I'll just keep seeing you, But the day will come soon enough, I'll look away, Pretend, Stay blissfully unaware, Until suddenly, We're permanently, Indefinitely, Done, |
Blind Fury, by Sadie Johnstone (12)
It started in a fire, the burning became a part of me
the fumes I breathed slowly decompose my lungs
my sight is forever tainted from the haze of smoke
I am stumbling through the dark, but how do you guide a child blinded?
My skin is hot to the touch, the anger ablaze within
The blood is rushing to my ears and it’s all too much
All I see ahead is a path of destruction and fury
I am stumbling through the dark, but you’re too late to save me.
A wounded animal, I lash out only on instinct
Through the roaring in my head I struggle to think
Where I am pointing the pistol, the target before me
I am stumbling through the dark, and I cannot see.
Your eyes bore into mine with not malice, but pity
For a moment I waver as you reach to embrace me
All of a sudden, a sharp pain pierces my heart
I was stumbling through the dark, now you hold me in your arms,
I touch my heart, and feel the warm gash there
You cradle me and sob, teardrops for one you had already lost
Lifting my head, I see your face through the fog Image by: Sadie Johnstone
one last time, and think:
I’m glad it was you who stopped me.
the fumes I breathed slowly decompose my lungs
my sight is forever tainted from the haze of smoke
I am stumbling through the dark, but how do you guide a child blinded?
My skin is hot to the touch, the anger ablaze within
The blood is rushing to my ears and it’s all too much
All I see ahead is a path of destruction and fury
I am stumbling through the dark, but you’re too late to save me.
A wounded animal, I lash out only on instinct
Through the roaring in my head I struggle to think
Where I am pointing the pistol, the target before me
I am stumbling through the dark, and I cannot see.
Your eyes bore into mine with not malice, but pity
For a moment I waver as you reach to embrace me
All of a sudden, a sharp pain pierces my heart
I was stumbling through the dark, now you hold me in your arms,
I touch my heart, and feel the warm gash there
You cradle me and sob, teardrops for one you had already lost
Lifting my head, I see your face through the fog Image by: Sadie Johnstone
one last time, and think:
I’m glad it was you who stopped me.
Pulling The Strings, by Suda Sivakumar (10)
Marilyn and Nicolas were childhood friends. As they grew up together, Marilyn had developed feelings and wanted their friendship to become more, so she let Nicolas string her along. Over the years, they let time pull them apart, however, one day Nicolas reaches out to meet up and talk. After hearing all of Nicolas’ excuses as to why he had given her this false hope making her feel crazy, she finally let her emotions out.
Are you serious? I took every emotion and every feeling I had for granted until I couldn’t feel anything for anyone at all. I never thought I would let anyone have that kind of power over me, be constantly on the forefront of my mind. But you were always the exception. Nico, I feel like someone I can hardly recognize, (breath) you made me into this person. I was blinded by all the red flags, everything in my head telling me to turn the other way and run (breath)but I gave into my emotions and I let myself feel for you
Image By: Suda Sivakumar
Love’s gone, by Mona Mohamed (10)
I’ve asked you, like, four times today. I’ve been sick, throwing up all day, stuck in bed. So I ask you to do this one thing. Just deliver this cake order. It’s so simple, and yet you can’t do it. Why can’t you? Is it so hard? You never seem to listen to anything I ask of you. I am so tired-so tired of you ignoring me, like I’m this-this bitch who keeps nagging you. Aren’t we in love, doesn’t this come with caring for someone? Do I not matter to you anymore? (long pause)
You know how-well, how the blind resort to other senses? I think that’s how it feels being left loveless for so long. I’ve grown accustomed to other emotions, I am not blinded by your love anymore for it is long gone. No, instead- (beat) instead I am filled with hatred, resentment. I see you as nothing but mean. You are cruel, a skeleton of the man I once knew. You used to love me so much I felt warm in deep january. I have been so cold lately. (pause) What have I done wrong? My eyes see the devil more than they see your angelic face, I’ve started to believe that you’ve always been a fraud. Deceiving me until the day you could give me up, leave me helpless outside the door. I’ve been wrung dry, you’ve taken everything from me. My love, my care, my sight. I can’t see love anymore. It walked out the door, with you
You know how-well, how the blind resort to other senses? I think that’s how it feels being left loveless for so long. I’ve grown accustomed to other emotions, I am not blinded by your love anymore for it is long gone. No, instead- (beat) instead I am filled with hatred, resentment. I see you as nothing but mean. You are cruel, a skeleton of the man I once knew. You used to love me so much I felt warm in deep january. I have been so cold lately. (pause) What have I done wrong? My eyes see the devil more than they see your angelic face, I’ve started to believe that you’ve always been a fraud. Deceiving me until the day you could give me up, leave me helpless outside the door. I’ve been wrung dry, you’ve taken everything from me. My love, my care, my sight. I can’t see love anymore. It walked out the door, with you
On aging, by Siobhan Boon-Devlin (9)
Isn’t it beautiful the way our bodies take in life?
Wrinkles etch our skin
The way lightning strikes the sky
Stretch marks adorn our bodies
Like rings on a tree trunk
Moonlight is spun
And carefully woven into silvery hair
Even if I had all language at my disposal
I can’t tell you how much I yearn to become like mother earth
I want to live
Until I see all of her in me
And only then
Will I let her take me back
Image By: Siobhan Boon-Devlin
Wrinkles etch our skin
The way lightning strikes the sky
Stretch marks adorn our bodies
Like rings on a tree trunk
Moonlight is spun
And carefully woven into silvery hair
Even if I had all language at my disposal
I can’t tell you how much I yearn to become like mother earth
I want to live
Until I see all of her in me
And only then
Will I let her take me back
Image By: Siobhan Boon-Devlin
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My life was black and white, colour drained
Blinded to the beauty of the world A black and white movie Life tinted shades of gray A colouring book waiting for someone to bring it to life Someone did, A stranger came along, filling in the gaps Colouring in the spaces(the pages), shining a light upon the darkness that was my world Once more i saw, Painted skies and coloured seas, The shine of the stars above The red of the cold flush in your cheeks Brightness and life(color) filled up the gray Lighter times(days) born out of darker days(ones), The beautiful lies the stranger would speak I would cry through the night as the colours would seep, Out of their pages, running down my skin My life began going gray again Then you'd smile at me and colour the space, Spaces where id watch your colour drain away Painted in streaks, covered in water marks, Tear stained body, rain covered my world Then the sun would come out mark it all up Your brush paints the gaps and i know i'm enough You paint me colors and take me away Bit by bit you rip out my heart
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We were toxic,
I see that now, I couldn't back then, Too young and naive, I was blind, I thought it was all my fault, Everything ended once a week, Then we acted like we were fine, I thought I needed you, I had no one else, You decided to end things, We had our biggest blow up, It hurt like hell at the time, And it only kept burning me worse, Every time I tried to apologize, You stabbed me with your glares, Sent me away, I thought it was all my fault, That you didn't want me, Now all those scars are here to stay, You started it, continued it and ended it, You made me feel worthless, alone and scared, I couldn’t see the truth, We were was toxic, But now I see that it was you, |
I recall my nights of smog, the ones before your grand appearance,
brief musings relieve memories of many stinging nights I’d rather neglect,
so I view the rising sun through your eyes, wishing I were strong enough for no interference
Image By: Tobias Dorsemaine
Untitled, by Madeline Finney (10)
(Stammers) I never really noticed what was happening with her. Not necessarily what was happening with her, because it was all she talked about, but what was happening with her to me. (beat) Does that make sense? I don’t know if it does. I mean, if it doesn’t then that’s really the least of my worries. I try not to think about it too much but it seems to be all I can think, talk, and write about. She’s everywhere; I don’t think you get it. I try so hard to block her out and ignore her but every little thing that she does irritates me. Either that or I have to know everything that’s happening because I can’t let it go. I can’t just forget that she exists, no matter how hard I try. I see her daily and it’s horrible. (sighs) I don’t really know how to put it in perspective. I guess it’s kind of equivalent to when you watch a movie, or just find out about something completely random but then you see it all over. You see it online, in person, people start talking about it. You can’t escape it. That’s what she’s like. It’s like… when you had braces and had elastics and thought you could celebrate because, finally, they’re gone! But then you keep finding them in random places.
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I will be forced to act unknowingly
to your secrets, to your aspirations taught to act stoic in your presence act blind to you, act blind when it comes to the things I know about you I must pretend like I don't know how you look in the mornings, how you hate comparisons, your process of writing, your favorite dress, your favorite artists and your favorite album. Image By: Anamika Dave Act as if I don't know the small details and the bigger pictures. So when we pass in the hallways, or say congratulations to each other’s achievements, or say goodbye at graduation, I will be blind to the fact that you are a stranger I once knew inside and out, with details, irrelevant and not I will turn a blind eye to the fact that we once promised that we would never be this way, promised to never act this small in each other's presence. I will persistently remember the promises we made at 14, |
a sucker punch to the gut, a thumb pressing down on my throat, it'd make you seasick, in some landlocked town. down this river i drift, use paralyzed arms to pull me out. the words in my mouth, running laps ‘round my tongue, then again into my stomach, they always seem to ricochet back down. your love i'll forever keep, safe with me. even when my heart is buried, deep, under frozen ground. my eyes well, then frost over, you were someone's daughter, reduced to a name on cold stone, take me away, freezing waters, with risen tides on icy shores, i know you how hard you might have tried– warnings fallen on ears too bored, your death; this grief, hit me right in the blind side. |
Blinding Lights, by Suda Sivakumar (10)
The sun shined in my eyes, blinding me from seeing the bigger picture
I couldn’t help myself, the way it shone and lit up every room
I wanted to look, breathe and feel it
But it was never mine to hold
So I’m left blinded
Staring around, seeing nothing but searching for everything, as if the answers would appear in thin air
I took it for granted, and now I’m unable to stare at it, even for a fraction,
without my eyes aching and my heart racing
Image By: Suda Sivakumar
Headlight Eyes, by Abella Vasquez (10)
When I was 12 I saw a deer for the first time on a hike with my family. It’s velvet-soft tawny fur wrapped around it like a blanket, ears darting left to right as it ate another bundle of apple-green grass and chewed and chewed and chewed. I gasped as the reality of this creature standing before me set in. Quick as I’ve ever seen, the deer raised it’s head meeting my startled gaze. I saw eyes of nothing, small black voids that reflected the early morning light like the faceted beads I used to play with as a child. Then it ran, heavy hooves flattening dead foliage.
Image By: Abella Vasquez
Image By: Abella Vasquez
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I close my eyes
I’m 5 years old blowing out candles on my birthday Life is great I close my eyes I’m 8 years old on Christmas Eve, excited to open gifts the next morning Life is good I close my eyes I’m 12 years old forcing myself to get rest before a test at school Life is alright I’m 15 years old now I don’t close my eyes They always feel closed I look around at my friends and peers I don’t think they notice me Life is life Not great but not horrendous It just is But I feel like I can’t see My vision is blurry The colors look more dull But life goes on Image By: Chloe Gaudet |
You are the person that I see
Everytime I close my eyes I can’t see what’s right in front of me So I choose to run away and hide I lost my vision years ago I miss seeing the smile on your face And it haunts me your my ghost You’ve waited this game out to play your ace Wait I’ve lost it I can’t be honest With you no I can’t see a thing Wait I’m trying For you I’m dying For you I’ll let it all go Close my eyes when you walk by To avoid seeing what is true I’d rather die than say goodbye And I’ll become what’s the worst of you |
CATS BAT AT ME IN THE ALLEY By Millie Farley (11)
I’m all scratched up, tufts of my fur clumped in cats’ claws. Cats love to toss me around, the manky rat. And they tell me it’s what I get. They’re all against me. I dug holes through their walls, stole their food, bit their paws, scared their humans, made their life oh so complicated, they say I deserve some torture. Because of the torture I caused them.
Listen, I’m not sitting alive right now because of kindness and patience. It’s a harsh world out there and I’m low down on the trophic pyramid. Sometimes you gotta be mean to survive. Soft cats don’t understand that, because they have humans serving them. If there ain’t anyone looking out for me, at least I am. I gotta look in those road puddles and think ‘at least I’m here for me’. And I gotta dry myself off when the cars roll through that tea coloured water and splash me.
They don’t understand me. Cat bed and sewer life are two contrasting lifestyles and we view things so differently. Their glittery cat collars are worth more than my existence is. Society is accepting, selectively. I’ve found myself on the wrong side of things.
Video By: Millie Farley
Listen, I’m not sitting alive right now because of kindness and patience. It’s a harsh world out there and I’m low down on the trophic pyramid. Sometimes you gotta be mean to survive. Soft cats don’t understand that, because they have humans serving them. If there ain’t anyone looking out for me, at least I am. I gotta look in those road puddles and think ‘at least I’m here for me’. And I gotta dry myself off when the cars roll through that tea coloured water and splash me.
They don’t understand me. Cat bed and sewer life are two contrasting lifestyles and we view things so differently. Their glittery cat collars are worth more than my existence is. Society is accepting, selectively. I’ve found myself on the wrong side of things.
Video By: Millie Farley