A core family memory I’ve remembered doing and holding close to my heart for almost as long as I’ve been alive definitely has to be baking grandma-granddaughter brownies. Almost.
Going over to my grandparent’s house around noon, getting dropped off with my older sister sitting in the passenger seat, while I was in the back. We would shut the car doors behind us and start up the hill to their house; this routine we knew well, that Sundays were always the days when our parents went grocery shopping and we couldn't be left alone. This memory feels so much farther away than it used to. Was I ever really that small? Did I really have all that time to spend with my family? Time crawled by at a much slower pace those days.
On this particular day, the sun was peeking through the slits in the blinds and birds harmoniously chirping could be heard from the birdbath outside in the back garden. We were seated at the kitchen table with all the ingredients displayed before us next to the bin of measuring cups beside the over-stuffed, gigantic recipe book with the slightly crumpled recipe paper covered in cursive scrawls on top. It took me a few years until all the curving, seemingly-endless looping letters actually made any sense to me. My sister could always read it, so when I was younger it had to be read aloud by either her or my grandmother so I could follow along. The oven was always being pre-heated beforehand so we'd start by separating the tasks so my sister and I could get mixing done at the same time. I'd do the dry ingredients and she'd do the wet ingredients. My grandma was always there to offer advice or a helping hand when needed, but most of the baking process was done by me and my sister.
After we'd both finished, my grandma would help us combine the two solutions to create a beautifully thick, creamy, smells-like-heaven-on-earth batter. Switching turns to mix it until it was done, we'd bicker about who'd have to mix for longer as our arms were getting tired. But the real war didn't start until the batter was poured into the lined pan and the remnants of delicious brown chocolaty goodness were left stranded on the edges of the bowl used to mix the two. We didn't really "fight" but someone would unquestionablybe left seriously upset if they had ended up with less batter to lick up than the other person. That honestly may have been my favourite part about baking brownies with my sister and grandma, getting to definitely lick the spoon clean and even sometimes being able to polish off the rest of the bowl. When my sister and I were done with that bowl, I can promise it had never looked more spotless in its entire life.
Now my sister is off to Uni, a 9 hour drive away, and I baked brownies with my grandma alone, for the first time. I wish I had something more poetic to say about an emptiness in the air without her presence, but I really don’t. It didn’t feel like there was something missing because time spent with my grandmother is always time well spent, every second is a gift to be graced with her patience and warmth. But then again I couldn’t describe how excited I’d be if my sister could come back to Ottawa to bake brownies, or really to do anything. I am just so grateful for any time I have with her, I wouldn’t exchange her for anything in the whole world; I’m so lucky.
My grandma is a great cook who has always loved to bake, so I know that it must be where I get my appreciation of it from. There is always a warm fuzzy feeling that seems to follow and linger in my gut after baking something, a lightness that replaces a certain weight pressing down on the shoulders. For me, those brownies represent my gratitude for the time that I’ve had with my amazing family, and what more is to come. Realistically, I don’t know how much more time I will get to have with my loved ones that are growing older so I never take a chance to see them for granted. They are the warmth of fresh memories, right out of the oven, and the miraculously beautiful aroma that stretches its loving arms to every dusty corner of the house. Even though age promises staleness, I'll always remember what they were and how warm I felt initially in the moment. Taking that first bite as a wave of dopamine crashes down from the very top of your brain to the ends of your toes and then before you even realize it, half of the brownies from the plate are gone. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grandma and granddaughter's signature brownie recipe:
Ingredients: 2 cups white sugar 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour 1 cup butter, melted 4 eggs ½ cup cocoa powder 1 teaspoon vanilla extract ½ teaspoon baking powder ½ teaspoon salt
How to make brownies from scratch: The very first step is to preheat the oven to 350 degrees while you prepare the batter. The next thing to do is to mix the wet and dry ingredients in two separate bowls. Combine the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt. Then in a larger one, mush the butter until softened then whisk it together with the eggs, the vanilla extract and a tbsp or so of water. Next, it's time to combine and mix the two well in the larger bowl. Then after that, it is time to line the baking pan you’re going to be using for your brownies either with butter or cooking spray, personally I prefer a spray, and then pour/scoop the batter in there. It’s important to spread it out to all four sides of the pan and to smooth the top so the batter stays well distributed. Finally it’s time to put it in the preheated oven to bake for about 20 minutes. Allow the brownies to cool completely for at least a few minutes before slicing and serving them. Enjoy!