By Rafaela Moshe-Samson
I’ve never really enjoyed eating at parties. Even now, when I get the odd invitation, I prefer to bring something myself; on the rare occasion that I don’t, starving doesn’t faze me much.
Some years ago, back in my elementary school days, I got invited to a birthday party at the Walkley Bowling Centre, where the shoes smell like kids' feet and mold. (It's closed permanently a few years ago, the sounds of giggling children to never be heard again inside the hazy walls. After a few rounds, tuckered out grade schoolers tumbled slowly to the table, eager to munch on something. Thankfully, we would not be enjoying some cake with Wrinkles the clown in the party room designated for children; we were allowed the freedom of eating near the adults as they conversed about everything and nothing.
A light near the exit flickered continuously, the glowing flames of the birthday candles creating a nice contrast to the now dim bowling center. A sharp knife divided the cake into 20-odd pieces, all eagerly devoured by my tablemates until I found myself sitting quietly with the birthday child, picking at my portion. There was no rush, no sense of reality in those moments. Flickering lights, candles, cake. I continued to poke at my piece. Lights, candles, cake. The whispering of the parents continued, occasional laughs littering the conversation.
After what felt like an eternity, I decided that enough was enough; the cake must be finished. I sectioned off a piece of the crumbling dessert, slowly chewing, cutting, biting. And then….. bliss! It was the best cake I had ever eaten. I wanted more, my stomach grumbling with hunger. However, everything good comes to an end, and that cake had disappeared into the intestines of 20 odd Catholic school children, never to be seen again.
Now that those days are over, I have attempted to recreate this cake which has lingered in the back of my mind for so long. Bake on!
The Recipe!
For the dough:
5½ cups (690g) flour
1¾ cup (400g) cubed cold butter (don't let it melt, trust me)
2 eggs
200ml ice water
1 tablespoon white vinegar (you can substitute with lemon juice)
1/2 teaspoon salt
For the cream:
6 egg yolks
1/3 cup (43g) cornstarch
3 cups (720ml) milk
1 cup (230g) butter
3/4 cup + 2 tbsp (175g) Sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Instructions:
THE DOUGH
In a bowl of your choice, combine water, eggs, vinegar and salt. Thoroughly pulse the flour and cubed butter until it resembles brutally beaten crackers. Creating a well of sorts with the crumbly flour, pour your egg mixture into the center. Slowly mix together; a dough will form. Knead until it is completely combined. If you want to create a circular Napoleon cake, now is the time to evenly divide your dough into 10-12 balls. Congrats! You have just made the puff pastry. Refrigerate it for an hour as you make the cream.
THE CREAM
Whisk the egg yolks, sugar and cornstarch until it is smooth as butter (not like a criminal undercover). Heat your milk up until it is hot but not boiling. Do not, under any circumstances, scald the milk. It will taste disgusting. Slowly combine the hot milk with your egg mixture, constantly stirring. Now is the time to get your strong friends to help you with this. Once combined, pour the mixture into your pot and heat it over low-medium (adjust to your stove), mixing constantly yet again. Once it thickens, remove it from the heat and add in your butter and vanilla extract. Mix, mix, mix! Let that thing cool off and refrigerate as you prepare your dough.
THE DOUGH (again)
Roll the dough balls into a thin layer (not too thin, though). Once that is done, take out a 20 cm cake ring and press it on the dough. Puncture the dough with a fork, making sure you don't stab the dough too hard. Throw those bad boys into the oven for around 10-12 minutes and get your cream out again
THE ACTUAL CAKE
Once the cake layers are cooled, break up the leftover dough however you like. (My favourite way of doing it is by crushing it with my hands.) Spread a few tablespoons of cream onto each layer, stacking them up as you go. If you have any extra cream, spread it on the top and sides. Sprinkle the crumbs of the leftover dough onto the cake; try to be even so it doesn't develop self-esteem issues. Let that cake freeze in the fridge while you wait eagerly for the next day to come.
For the dough:
5½ cups (690g) flour
1¾ cup (400g) cubed cold butter (don't let it melt, trust me)
2 eggs
200ml ice water
1 tablespoon white vinegar (you can substitute with lemon juice)
1/2 teaspoon salt
For the cream:
6 egg yolks
1/3 cup (43g) cornstarch
3 cups (720ml) milk
1 cup (230g) butter
3/4 cup + 2 tbsp (175g) Sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Instructions:
THE DOUGH
In a bowl of your choice, combine water, eggs, vinegar and salt. Thoroughly pulse the flour and cubed butter until it resembles brutally beaten crackers. Creating a well of sorts with the crumbly flour, pour your egg mixture into the center. Slowly mix together; a dough will form. Knead until it is completely combined. If you want to create a circular Napoleon cake, now is the time to evenly divide your dough into 10-12 balls. Congrats! You have just made the puff pastry. Refrigerate it for an hour as you make the cream.
THE CREAM
Whisk the egg yolks, sugar and cornstarch until it is smooth as butter (not like a criminal undercover). Heat your milk up until it is hot but not boiling. Do not, under any circumstances, scald the milk. It will taste disgusting. Slowly combine the hot milk with your egg mixture, constantly stirring. Now is the time to get your strong friends to help you with this. Once combined, pour the mixture into your pot and heat it over low-medium (adjust to your stove), mixing constantly yet again. Once it thickens, remove it from the heat and add in your butter and vanilla extract. Mix, mix, mix! Let that thing cool off and refrigerate as you prepare your dough.
THE DOUGH (again)
Roll the dough balls into a thin layer (not too thin, though). Once that is done, take out a 20 cm cake ring and press it on the dough. Puncture the dough with a fork, making sure you don't stab the dough too hard. Throw those bad boys into the oven for around 10-12 minutes and get your cream out again
THE ACTUAL CAKE
Once the cake layers are cooled, break up the leftover dough however you like. (My favourite way of doing it is by crushing it with my hands.) Spread a few tablespoons of cream onto each layer, stacking them up as you go. If you have any extra cream, spread it on the top and sides. Sprinkle the crumbs of the leftover dough onto the cake; try to be even so it doesn't develop self-esteem issues. Let that cake freeze in the fridge while you wait eagerly for the next day to come.